Maps
by rhetoricfemme
Summary: Takashi returns home from school abroad to find things not precisely as he left them.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Ouran High School Host Club.

* * *

Everything seemed just a little bit different while inhaling American air. The trees seemed to move differently. The clouds floated closer, more codependent on one another. The host club appeared to keenly lean on one another.

Their collective year of American schooling was soon coming to an end, at which point they would all—save for Takashi—return to Japan. Having been charmed by the United States' east coast, he had decided to finish the remainder of his undergraduate schooling in Boston.

It was an unexpected step, considering the distance and time he would spend away from the one person he'd fashioned himself to most of his life. The truth was that Takashi was certain that he would miss Haruhi even more.

And so, as their time abroad together drew to a close, he was glad to have wound up spending their last afternoon enjoying each other's company, presently doing so while meandering the historical city's downtown.

Walking past a large window, Haruhi smiled while catching a glimpse of their reflections standing side-by-side. Sighing, she thought of their impending separation. She assured herself it was better not to dwell on it, that their friendship would survive. Besides, he had no obligation toward her, anyway. The logical aspects in front of her did little to soothe the dull heartache she was already feeling for his absence.

"Do you look forward to it?"

"Hn?" Her sudden words had eliminated their silence and caught him off guard.

"Being alone. Being so far away?"

"Yeah. It'll be something new."

"That's true." Having asked her only real question, Haruhi no longer knew where the conversation should go.

"I think it will be good to be alone. To not make decisions based around the needs of anyone else for a while."

"But you're still going to school with the intentions are becoming a lawyer and one day being the head of your family."

"Yeah."

"Do you look forward to that?"

"I think so. I enjoy law. It's smart to be using my time here to major in international relations. And I've always known that one day I'll transition to the head of our family business. I'm fine with it. Mainly I've just had the time to come to terms with it."

"I see."

"You know, my father's first passion is his dojo. He's always found a way to balance family, business and martial arts. So I'm not too worried.

It was clear by the look on his face that Takashi was confident that for him, only good things were to come.

"Of course," he went on, "I'm also excited to eventually be coming home."

Haruhi gave a weak grin. "Yeah. So am I. Two years is a long time."

"Hn. You'll keep busy. You always do."

"You're not switching where you live, are you?"

"No."

"Okay. I know where you live, then. I'll busy myself writing you."

He smiled. "Good."

.

"So overall, how was it spending so much time away?"

"Good."

Finding time to answer between various positions, moves and motions, Takashi was brief as always. Having been home for nearly a week, the two cousins had spent much of their time engaging in various martial arts with one another, anywhere they feasibly could.

In attempt to reacquaint with familiar places, as well as take advantage of a beautiful morning, they currently found themselves sparring on a patch of lawn at one of Ouran University's many student squares.

Takashi laughed as Mitsukuni landed a playful blow to his shoulder. His cousin, who was now at least half a foot taller since the last time he had been in Japan, was now a new creature in terms of their training; still understanding Mitsukuni's techniques and style, his gradually increasing height left adaptations to be made on Takashi's behalf.

Wrapping up their training session, the two prepared to make their way toward the off-campus apartment they were to share for the upcoming school year. Passing through the center of the square, Takashi unconsciously came to a stop while watching two girls attempting a feat of their own.

The longer of the two girls laid in the grass, her legs at a ninety-degree angle. Perched atop her feet was a smaller girl, balancing on her pelvis, working to reach behind and grasp her own ankles. Dressed in running shorts and a tank top, the definition to her well-worked muscles did not go unnoticed. Her face was shielded by a curtain of thick brunette hair. Though not easily visible, Takashi could see the girl was shaking from her efforts. On the ground, her partner offered an encouraging smile.

Maintaining her position for several seconds longer, the brunette eventually gave the signal to be let back down.

Standing next to him, Mitsukuni looked on with a grin. Waiting until the young woman had entirely descended he called out joyfully.

"Great job, Haru-Chan!"

Shocked to learn that he'd kept her identity to himself the entire time, Takashi shot his cousin a perplexed look.

Turning her head in their direction, the brunette's expression switched from one of general acknowledgment, to a look of incredible surprise. Bidding her partner goodbye, Haruhi began to make her way toward them.

"Mitsukuni..."

"What? Didn't you tell Haru-Chan you were home?"

"No."

"Oh. Well why not?"

"She stopped writing me. I took it to be a hint."

"I don't think so, Takashi." As Haruhi came closer, he cut his intended line of conversation short, in favor of a more approachable one.

"Haru-Chan! You've been practicing! Yoga looks good on you. And Takashi's home, isn't that great?"

She confirmed her agreement with a happy nod. Smiling for the two of them, Haruhi settled her focus on Takashi, who granted a quick smile for his old friend.

"Haruhi."

"Takashi! How are you?"

"Good. Happy to be home."

Though he knew his friend remained the same at the core, something about Haruhi had clearly changed. Having caught sight of this slightly older variation of her, he was left both confused by and appealed to her all the more.

Probing her with a curious stare, Haruhi lightly smiled, but looked away.

"Takashi, I'm sorry to have stopped writing. There was so much going on, and I kind of got overwhelmed."

"It's fine."

She looked up to him again, this time offering him the classic, familiar stare he was used to seeing out of her.

"I need to go take care of some stuff at the academic office, but I'll see you soon. Yes?"

"Hn."

Haruhi smiled. "Good. I'll see you later, too, Mitsukuni."

"I know! Bye, Haru-Chan!"

Taking off in the opposite direction, she threw both of them a wave before turning around and quickly walking away.

Realizing that Takashi was not likely to be the first to move from their current spot, Mitsukuni tossed himself onto the taller man's back and directed him toward home.

"Mitsukuni. Start talking."

"Gladly! After you."

* * *

Hello! So, this story is about halfway mapped out in my head. I'm pretty sure that I may be treading into overdone territory, but dangit, I've got an itch and I'm going to scratch it! I hope you enjoy. :D


	2. Chapter 2

Having managed to keep his cousin talking for the duration of the trek home, it was becoming clear that there was not much time left before Mitsukuni would have some explaining of his own to do.

Entering the apartment, Takashi slid him off of his back while shutting the door behind them. Leaning against the frame, he crossed his arms silently, indicating that he was done talking.

"Okay." Mitsukuni started, "Remember all those reasons you just gave for staying in Boston? The perfectly understandable and legitimate reasons?"

"Yeah."

"Good. So just remember all those reasons, and don't get angry with yourself for what I'm about to say. I already know you'll get mad at me, but that's okay. So-"

"Just say it, Mitsukuni."

"When did Haruhi stop writing back to you?"

"Just less than a year ago. Why?"

Speaking softly with his head bowed toward the ground, he continued on. "Because that was also around the same time that Haruhi was raped."

Unable or unwilling to acknowledge what his cousin had just said, he simply shook his head.

"Takashi..."

"No. That's... It's unacceptable." He paced back and forth, growing furious as he began to process this new reality. "What the hell happened?!"

His eyes filling with tears, the smaller man only shrugged. "I'm sorry, Taka. I don't know... The semester had only been going on for a few weeks, and-"

"Her first semester."

"Yes. I know. It was late one night, and I got a call from Haru-Chan telling me I needed to come to her dorm. She didn't say why. She didn't have to, once I got there... I think she was in shock; she had no idea what she wanted to do, no clue what to say. She started panicking when I called Kyoya to bring a car to her dorm, but that was the least of what we needed to do. He managed to slip her into a private wing of a hospital. Doctors and police came, finished what they needed to do, then left."

"So everybody knows."

"No. She made us promise not to tell anyone. Her father doesn't even know."

Each new piece of information delivered another lurid cut into his heart.

_She won't even tell her father. Two people know. Why is she dealing with this by herself? Why wasn't I here?!_

Years of reading his expressions allowed Mitsukuni to assess what needed to be said next, and he proceeded as concise as possible.

"She didn't tell you for the same reason she didn't tell her father. The blame isn't yours. And don't worry, I'm not breaking my promise. Haru-Chan was actually counting on me telling you at some point after you got back."

Disgusted with absolutely everything, he shook his head. "In her last letter, Haruhi wrote that her classes were alright, but that her time dragged on much slower than she would have expected. She wrote that college was not turning out as she thought it would. I should have come home, then."

Unable to sit still any longer, Takashi reached for the front door.

"Where are you going?"

"Dojo. Alone."

Mitsukuni nodded. He couldn't fathom how much this onslaught of new information would affect him, and figured it best to leave his cousin on his own. The decision, however, did not come without guilt. He called out to him before he could shut to door.

"Takashi! I'm really sorry, Taka. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you, and I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

"How could you have been? You did what you could."

Leaving it at that, he disappeared out the door.

.

It was hours later by the time Takashi had returned to the apartment. He found it empty, save for a note left on a table.

**Staying the night with Reiko-Chan, will see you tomorrow! And in case you were wondering, Haru-Chan's building is the one to the right of ours. Her unit is 2B. Mitsukuni.**

_Haruhi lives next door... This is good. Still, what does he plan on telling me next? Hn._

Shaking off his cousin's newfound penchant for springing big information onto him, Takashi glanced out the window, and knew precisely what he wanted to do. Unsure of whether seeing her felt more like a selfish want, or a heartfelt obligation, he pushed all superfluous thoughts from his head, intent only on seeing how Haruhi was doing.

.

Standing in front of the apartment complex, he assessed the sub par entryway, and was left severely unimpressed.

_There's no doorman or security. There's no call button. I can just walk in. Unacceptable._

Having shoved the voice of reason to the back of his head, Takashi could still hear its faint insistence that this was a college town, not downtown Tokyo. What did he expect?

_For nothing like this to have happened._

Sighing, he pulled out his cell phone, dialing her number. Picking up after the first ring, the sound of her voice filled him with relief. At the very least, she sounded the same.

"Haruhi. May I come in?"

"Of course, Takashi." Albeit tensely, she laughed, "Did you just find out that we're living next door to one another?"

"Hn."

More laughter before hanging up. Taking a deep breath, he entered the building, made his way up the stairs and to her door. Propped against the side of her doorway, Haruhi smiled as he came closer, and beckoned him inside.

Closing the door behind him, he turned to see that she had placed herself in an overstuffed chair, her knees raised up to her chest. Settling for a seat on the couch across from her, Takashi maintained the feeling that neither one of them was pursuing this visit as they would have liked.

Haruhi was the first to speak. "Two years alone. How was it?"

"It was alright."

"We all missed you."

"I missed you."

As a faint blush creeped up her face, Haruhi shifted in her seat. The slight movement was enough for Takashi to notice the subtle evolution of strengthened muscles, the likes of which he had not seen on Haruhi before.

"So you're doing yoga? How long now?"

"About a year."

"When you stopped returning any letters?"

He had not planned on coming off as terse, but between his own hurt at being disconnected and the guilt at having not been there for her, Takashi's attitude had manifested beyond his standard realm of control. If he were being honest, he did not feel completely unjustified.

Shaking his head, he intended to redact his previous question. "Haruhi, I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry. You sent letter after letter, and I never even tried to call you."

Upon noticing the tears in his eyes, her body deflated with a long sigh. "Did Mitsukuni tell you?"

"Yes. I'm sor-"

"And that is why I stopped writing. In the middle of what was probably the one self-involved thing you'll ever do in your life, I was not about to allow this to get in your way. Had I continued writing, you would have noticed something was off with me. At the very least you would have worried, but I know eventually you would have come home. How is that fair?"

"Are you serious?! Haruhi-"

"What?"

Feeling defeated, he could barely come up with words with which to soothe the situation. Unfortunately, this was one time where the typical silence policy was not better. Not knowing what to say, Takashi continued talking.

"What were you thinking?"

With a shrug, Haruhi stood up and made her way to the couch. While her eyes never left his, it was not lost on Takashi that she sat herself as far away from him as possible.

"For a while, if it didn't involve a text book, I tried not to think at all. I can only bury myself in studies for so long before it's all known. Mitsukuni tried to teach me self-defense, but... It didn't quite take. Seeing a therapist didn't do much to help me take back control of my body, so I got into yoga. Which I basically started practicing every day."

"Does any of it help?"

"Some days. Most days."

Not entirely convinced, he could think of nothing left to say. On top of every other unfortunate thing he had recently learned, Takashi was now upset that an uncomfortable silence had developed between the two of them.

Breaking that silence, Haruhi smiled. "But putting all of that aside. I'm happy you're home. Maybe some things can go back to normal again."

He laughed, not even sure what was funny. "Like what?"

"Hell if I know. We can figure that out another time."

Throwing her head back in a yawn, Takashi looked to the wall and was surprised to see the late hour displayed on the clock.

"I had better get going."

Looking disappointed, Haruhi nodded. "I suppose. I do have early classes tomorrow... And you should be starting grad school!"

"Next week."

"That's very exciting for you."

While he enjoyed that Haruhi had suddenly developed a conversational tone, the depths of fatigue were not treading lightly upon her face. Standing up, he gesticulated that it was time for him to go, in doing so, prompting Haruhi to stand up, too. Making their way toward the door, there came a somewhat trepid gleam in her eyes.

"Takashi?"

"Hn?"

"Do you want a hug?"

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Then I'd love one."

Allowing her to make the first move, Takashi stood still as Haruhi slowing closed the gap between them. Finally wrapping his arms delicately round her shoulders, it was abundantly clear how difficult this intimate space was for her. Arms at her sides, she momentarily nestled her face to his chest before moving out from beneath him, a quiet, but triumphant smile on her face.

"See you soon, Takashi."

"Whenever you like."

.

Pushing his way through the building's front door, he was accosted by a humid August breeze. About to make the short trek back home, Takashi stopped upon hearing a familiar male voice speak his name. Turning around, he nodded to his old friend in acknowledgement.

Waiting alongside a parked car, stood Kyoya Ohtori.

* * *

.

.

Hi again! Well? What do you think? I'm having fun with this, as it's a bit of a challenge. You know how it is-something gets in your head and you just _have_ to write it... Still, it feels a bit odd, since I've always felt that this sort of story is a bit overdone. Usually I don't even read them... Alas, here I am writing one! **Please let me know what you think!** I'm hoping to not have gone OOC on them in this chapter, but it's an unexpected situation to be in, yeah?

Anyhoo, thanks for reading! You're awesome!


	3. Chapter 3

"Kyoya. What are you up to tonight?"

Hands in his pockets, he coupled a smirk with a shrug. "Tachibana called when he noticed an unfamiliar male entering Haruhi's building. By his description, I figured it was you, so I stopped on over."

"Ah. Are you busy?"

"Always. But let's go somewhere, anyway."

Ignoring the waiting car, the two of them proceeded to walk further into town. Moving along in silence, Takashi glanced over at Kyoya, whose demeanor was as unreadable as ever. They continued on wordlessly until ducking inside a small coffee shop. Seating themselves across from one another, Takashi waited for his company to speak. Kyoya spent several minutes staring at him, instead.

"So, Mori. Did you have a good time tonight?"

Narrowing his eyes in anger, Takashi stood up and prepared to leave, only to have Kyoya offer an apologetic wave. He motioned for him to sit back down.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line."

"I don't owe you an apology."

"I know. I know Hani wasn't able to tell you what was going on, and that Haruhi stopped corresponding. To be honest, after a while I tried convincing her to start talking to you, considering that she practically counted down the days until your return."

"Mitsukuni told me you were there to help after it happened. I'm glad she had the two of you."

Remembering that night, Kyoya frowned but nodded. "She looked like hell, Takashi. Terrified, all bruised and scraped up. Nothing broken, though. Maybe she didn't know who her attacker was, but from her description, it was none too difficult to assess who on campus matches that variety of scum..."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning the resources at my disposal are superior to those of the local police force, and I have a rather keen memory for the people I meet around campus. Perhaps other lowlife students will think twice before dragging girls away from the front of their dorms from now on."

Understanding the situation to have been taken care of, Takashi decided to move on to other topics.

"How has Haruhi been since then?"

Taking a long sip of his coffee, Kyoya raised an eyebrow as his mind sifted through the past several months.

"Pick a day... Right after it happened, Haruhi went into overdrive trying to keep busy. She didn't want anybody touching her, but she also didn't want to be left alone. Hani wanted to teach her some defense moves, with she agreed to. It was pretty obvious, though, that even with him she had problems being touched. The twins aren't a problem right now, as they're still studying in Spain. I managed to rein in Tamaki by 'admitting' my jealousy from all of his affections toward his precious daughter. Which, not surprisingly, he believed."

Despite the intensity behind the situation, this latest piece of information elicited a small laugh from each of them.

"What about now? How has she been lately?"

"Decent. There are bad days, of course, but she's much better than a few months ago. For a while she couldn't deal with being alone. She'd have Mei over for days at a time, or go back and forth between staying with Hani, then with me and Tamaki. Now, though, Haruhi's mostly content to do her own thing. I suppose she'd stay busy no matter what, but at night she's usually confident enough to go home alone."

Takashi exhaled a troubled breath. There was no reason to discount what Mitsukuni and Kyoya were saying. Their assurances that Haruhi was doing better were comforting, but the few interactions he'd had with her since being home told him different.

"Kyoya, are you certain she's fine?"

"Don't be so quick to flatter yourself into thinking you see something I don't. Let me ask you something: Before you found out about all of this, what were your intentions with Haruhi?"

For a moment he allowed the question to hang in the air.

_Had she not stopped communicating with me, I'd planned to cut to the chase and ask Haruhi to be with me. After months of not hearing from her, I needed to rethink my plans in case someone else had entered her life. Either way, ultimately, my intentions..._

Takashi sighed and answered him. "Marriage."

"I see. Well. As you've clearly seen, Haruhi still needs help. But it's not for me, or Hani, or anyone else to give. Even though we've tried, more than anything else, she wants you. Personally, I think that's what hurts her the most.

"From the day you stayed and we came back, she's waited for you. That didn't change after some bastard decided to have his way with her, and now she's left craving something that her instincts refuse to let her have. None of us are going away, obviously. But whatever is left to do is all on Haruhi, and perhaps on yourself."

Draining the last of his coffee mug, the expression in Kyoya's eyes indicated that his monologue was nearly over. As he motioned toward the exit, Takashi stood up in agreement, and the two men proceeded on their way.

Taking him by the shoulder, Kyoya brought them to a stop as they neared Takashi's apartment building.

"I've decided that I need to tell you one other thing."

"Hn?"

"I'm only telling you this because I'm certain you'll eventually be seeing, anyway. Technically, without peeking at her medical report, I don't know this, either. Haruhi has a scar on her left hip, where he carved his initials into her."

While the evening had been rife with upsetting news, Takashi found himself seething for the first time since hearing of her assault in the first place.

"It's small, but it's a rather blatant scar that won't be going away any time soon. I'm not sure if it helps, but for what it's worth, I was able to convince a plastic surgeon that the area needed extra attention, so there's a little less trace of that bastard on her."

"You said he was taken care of. He's in prison?"

"He's got a five year sentence, for now. But he's a young, first-time offender. What do you think is going to happen?"

Recounting the several times he'd encountered lewd men on crowded train cars, Takashi just shook his head.

"Indeed."

Once again finding themselves standing in front of Kyoya's car, the two of them held fast to their spots, staring up at Haruhi's apartment building. For a moment, neither said a word.

.

Laying quietly atop her bed, Haruhi tried her best to chase down sleep. Too much had transpired in one day, leaving her emotions entwined somewhere between elation and dread.

Thrilled to have Takashi back home, the question looming in her mind was from now on, how would he approach her?

_As some broken thing to be mended? A weakling who let her guard down and deserved what she got? No. He may be mad for being left in the dark, sure, but he'll be okay. I'll know for sure if he starts staring at me the way Mitsukuni and Kyoya do. Please, God, don't let him look at me with the same brand of concern that they do..._

_One of these nights, I'm just going to walk down there to that damn car, knock on Tachibana's window, and ask him how he's doing. Maybe I'll bake him a cake with a nice little note on it for Kyoya..._

_Ah, but that's not fair, either. I'd be lying not to admit that their attention and discretion isn't appreciated. Or comforting._

Looking over at her calendar, Haruhi scowled.

_I want things to be the way they used to be. I need to get back to normal before the twins get home for the holidays. They'll be all over me. That used to be fun. I miss fun... Poor Mitsukuni hasn't gotten a hug from me since last year. I'm so sick of putting up walls and ridiculous pretenses. Perhaps I could just acknowledge that something awful happened to me._

_Could I do that? What would happen then?_

Turning over on her side, Haruhi let out a deep breath. Sitting on the nightstand was a picture of them all. Their last day of everyone still in high school. The seven of them perched happily on and around a plush, velour couch. If nothing else, this picture was always a promised smile.

_Good job, Tamaki. You set out to create a real family, and that is exactly what you did._

* * *

_._

_._

Well hello, Chapter 3! Didn't expect to be seeing you so soon... I hope this story is finding you all well. This is a seemingly light week for me, so I'm hoping to get more of this done. We shall see... If it suits your fancy, please let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

Weaving between the infinite rows of outdoor cafe tables, Haruhi gave a sigh of relief upon locating Kyoya and Tamaki. Taking a seat next to them, both boys looked up from their work to greet her.

"Good afternoon, Haruhi."

"Hey, guys."

Laying out the contents of her bento box, there was a stark contrast between her meal and the fanciful tableware upon which it was splayed.

"Does anyone care to tell me why this week I feel as though I'm dining in a Parisian cafe?"

"That's just Ouran, Haruhi, my dear!"

"Fair enough."

"And after all this time, you still insist on dining in the land of silver spoons while eating off a paper plate."

"What can I say? It's part of my charm."

Kyoya smirked while repositioning his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose.

Picking at her lunch, Haruhi watched as the two boys hovered over what appeared to be a business project, their feet absentmindedly entwined beneath the table as they worked. It brought her a pleasant warmth to see them so happily enveloped in one another.

Continuing to jab at her food, another chair quietly placed itself alongside Haruhi's. With a mouth full of rice, she gave a pleased nod upon seeing Takashi next to her.

"You _are_ charming."

She swallowed her mouthful of food, blushing. "Gee, thanks. How's grad school treating you?"

"I like it. Torts is pretty good."

"Ah."

Deciding to take advantage of their academic atmosphere, Haruhi slid the rest of her bento toward Takashi, and reached for a text book.

"Haruhi."

"Takashi?"

"You study too much."

"Sometimes I don't study when I'm with you. I don't take textbooks with me to yoga..."

"Hn. Will you be doing yoga at our dojo, tonight?"

Not bothering to look up from her book, Haruhi nodded her head. "I promised Mitsukuni I would."

"Ah. No textbooks after?"

Feeling amused, she shrugged. "We'll see."

Calling that answer good enough, Takashi picked up Haruhi's chopsticks and allowed her attention to go back toward the book. Making sure not to touch her, he discreetly slid his arm around the back of her chair.

.

Syncopating her movement to sound of her own breathing, Haruhi worked to keep a clear mind. Having stolen away to a meditation room aside from the main dojo, she kept the door closed, and the lights dimmed while attempting to advance on her crane pose.

For several months she had accompanied Mitsukuni at least once a week to his and Takashi's family dojo. He would practice his own blend of martial arts, and across the room she would lose herself in yoga. It worked well, as the only audible noise had been the muffled rustling of Mitsukuni's hakama to the sound of her breathing. Having since integrated Takashi back into his martial arts routine, however, Haruhi had become distracted. His presence had allowed her to engage only in already known motions. Asking for clarity out of herself while Takashi was sparring was asking far too much, entirely. So she had retreated to another room.

Alas, there were nights when even this was not enough.

Stretching out on the floor, she retreated to listening to the two cousins spar with one another. The whispering fabric of their hakamas gave indication of their speed, which was only ever sligthly interrupted by the soft thud of one person making contact with another.

Having studied and mastered their martial arts together since they were children, Takashi and Mitsukuni proved time and again to be one another's greatest assets in combat. Understanding the other man's approach left no room for convention, as either one could easily call the other out should be become routine with his moves. It was as though they were sparring with a different partner every time.

Noticing a change in the sound of movement, Haruhi was now guessing that one of them had more than likely left the ground. She imagined any number of things Takashi could possibly be doing.

_I don't even need to see him to know how gracefully he moves..._

Had she not been so relaxed, Haruhi would have jumped out of alarm for the recently opened door. She opened one eye as a small beam of light filtered in.

"Corpse pose?"

"Uh huh."

"Sorry. Were you meditating?"

"You could say that." Rolling onto her side, she gave one final stretch before standing alongside him. Looking him over, Haruhi remained wordless while assessing how his workout had gone. A bead of sweat dripped from his brow, and also glinted throughout his unintentionally spiked hair. A yawn forced itself upon him as he used the back of his hand to wipe the perspiration away. Trying her best, Haruhi had trouble suppressing a small laugh.

"What?"

"Nothing."

_I suppose even the admirably athletic get tired once in a while._

"You should go get cleaned up. Come over to my place and I'll have dinner ready when you're done."

"No textbooks?"

"No textbooks."

.

The various aromas of simmering rice and curry filled the air. The two of them lounged across from one another, Haruhi spread out on her couch, and Takashi sitting politely in the chair. It had been a pleasant, although long day, and it was not lost even on Takashi that conversation was at a minimum. Staring at the tired girl on the couch, he wondered just how far she had become lost in her thoughts.

"Haruhi."

"Hm?"

"What is it?"

Sitting up, she gave a defeated sigh. "I don't now that I want to be a lawyer anymore."

"Why is that?"

"It's complicated..."

"What isn't?"

"I'm afraid of not getting anything accomplished by taking it too seriously."

"Hn?"

She shook her head, knowing the words had come out all wrong. "Remember the first year that we all lived in Boston?"

"Yeah."

"And do you remember when you all came over one night, and you brought Choji with you?"

He nodded, a little bummed after having tried very hard to suppress the memory. "Yeah..."

_That had been the evening where Haruhi decided that she needed a pre-dinner shower. Having no problem with the six of them lounging around hers and Tamaki's shared living room, she set about her shower while they bided time on their own._

_They had all watched as the small tanuki scampered off with some new item. Curiosity piqued as parts of the animal's prize began gleaming. Hiding beneath Hikaru's chair, the boy moved to pick the pet up. "What've we got here, Choji?"_

_Hikaru had stopped short after taking away the item._

"_Oh..."_

"_No."_

"_Takashi! Your tanuki stole Haru-Chan's underwear!"_

_Save for Kyoya, no one else dared make a move. Hemmed with silver sequins, it was no wonder why the small animal had appealed to the article. Grabbing the panties away from a still shocked Hikaru, Kyoya gave a tap on the bathroom door._

"_Haruhi!"_

_Slightly annoyed, she called out over top of the water. "What is it that it can't wait, Senpai?"_

"_I have something you might later be looking for..."_

_Leaning his ear against the wood, Kyoya moved back upon hearing her approach the door. She cracked it open, allowing any wandering eyes of the hosts to peek at her in a towel._

"_Yes?"_

_Kyoya extended his hand with the panties draped on the end of one finger._

"_For future reference, Haruhi: Tanukis are much like the raccoon, in that they are both drawn to shiny things and are more than capable of reaching underneath bathroom doors..."_

_Grabbing the tiny piece of clothing away from him, she simply nodded her head, and even smiled._

"_Got it. Thanks, Senpai."_

_Shutting the door behind her, they could hear as she nonchalantly went on with her shower._

_Feeling like he might die, Takashi just laid his head against the cool kitchen counter._

Fighting the urge to use a hand to cover his eyes, Takashi cocked his head while acknowledging the memory.

"And you bring this up because..."

"Because it was funny."

"Ah." _No. Not it wasn't, not at all._

"Not that I was about to let all of you know, but it was actually rather embarrassing."

"Yeah. I recall a room full of young men with absolutely no clue what to do with themselves."

"Exactly! But what did we do after that? The same sort of stuff we would have done as usual. So after what happened last year, I don't know if I can be a lawyer anymore. There's no humor in it, anywhere. Just negativity that I'm afraid will permeate any possible work I do. How can I be unbiased, anymore?"

"I see."

"I hate feeling this way."

Sucking in his breath, Takashi considered where to go from here. Though it seemed awful, what he had at the moment was also his best. He already loathed himself for what he was about to say.

"Then stop. You're nobody's victim."

Turning to face the floor, Haruhi held her silence. "So you think it's that easy?"

"No. And I won't assume to know what happened, or what you're going through. But I know you, Haruhi. When I walked by on campus that day and saw some girl pushing herself to do better, I didn't immediately see that it was you. Yet I still had the same feelings while watching. You put off the same vibes of strength and perseverance that you always did back then.

"If you don't want to be a lawyer anymore, that's fine. But don't let someone just take that away from you."

"You know, next week it'll officially be a year."

Takashi left the chair, opting to take the floor in front of Haruhi, who had since started crying. Taking her by the hands, he worked hard to hold his wanton embrace back.

"I'm sorry."

"I just want to make some changes."

"Even if you don't know it, you already have. You always are."

Still crying, Haruhi nodded. "So what's next?"

Not knowing if there was any one answer, Takashi shrugged a shoulder, and remained silent. Going over the past several weeks in his head, one very specific point jumped to the front of his mind. In all this time, he had only heard it once, from Mitsukuni.

"_Because that was also around the time that Haruhi was raped."_

He had only actually heard it out loud _once_. Any other time, it had simply been _what happened_.

"Haruhi?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you even said it out loud before? If only to yourself?"

"No."

The knowing look on her face caused Takashi the sort of pain associated with the realization that there are some situations no one should ever have to deal with. The cost of one individual's fleeting cruelty was another person's campaign to excavate themselves from some earthly version of hell.

Sensing that their dinner was ready, Haruhi left the couch without a sound. Following her into the kitchen, he reached out as she offered him a bowl.

_What have I done? Baka! Clearly, this is not what she needs... But what does she need? Kyoya and Mitsukuni have been amazing for Haruhi__, but where is not addressing the situation getting her? They're there for her, but no one is talking to her. Rather, no one is challenging her._

Keeping an eye on her, he stood against the counter, tucking into his food. It was another few minutes before either of them spoke. Setting her empty bowl in the sink, Haruhi looked to the floor and crossed her arms.

"Takashi."

"Haruhi."

Sighing, she looked up to meet his imploring eyes. "I'm going to tell everyone that I was raped."

His heart skipping a beat, he gave her a supportive nod.

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Direction! I think I found it! Thanks for reading, all. I cannot express how much I appreciate it. I hope you liked this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

The day arrived where Haruhi could officially mark a full year since having been attacked. Floating from one point in her day to the next, she fulfilled the usual obligations in a hushed, although not despondent manner.

Not knowing what sort of damage spending this evening alone might do, Takashi had asked her to spend time with him at the dojo, and was more than pleased as she took no time at all to oblige his request.

Skipping her usual preference for the meditation room, Haruhi began her practice within the main dojo, working only a short distance away from Takashi. Having spent much of her free time honing her yoga with the two cousins in tow, it had become significantly easier to clear her mind in Takashi's presence these days.

Enjoying their recent transition to practicing alongside one another, Takashi had spent most of the night observing her move, admiring the mental and physical transitions which Haruhi had made. Cropped black pants hugged close to her tiny frame, which had established a slight, delicious curve in recent years. Dark hair, which usually flowed straight to her shoulders, was now haphazardly pinned back to reveal the concentration on her face. Haruhi positioned herself into a pyramid pose, an asana, he'd noticed, that she had a tendency to retreat to often.

"You're very good at that."

"Thanks."

Pulling out of her posture, Haruhi stood up, seemingly to think something through. Several seconds went by before she decided to speak, at which point she crossed the room to join him.

"Takashi, if you would, there's something I'd like you to help me with."

"Name it."

Realizing he would never had said no in the first place, Haruhi adjusted her breathing and decided to go forward with her request.

"There's a partner asana that I was hoping we could do. It's very simple."

"Sure. How do we start?"

"It's called Hand Over Heart. One partner lays down while the other sits to the side, their hand over their partner's heart."

"Ah. You weren't kidding about the simplicity."

She let out a nervous laugh. _In theory... Maybe for you... _Haruhi motioned for him to lay against the mat.

"Okay. The goal here is to sync into one another's breathing through my feeling your heartbeat."

Waiting for further instruction, Takashi adjusted and made himself comfortable on the floor. He watched as Haruhi slowly brought her hand down to his chest, all the while noticing that she tried to hide how worked up she had become over their close proximity. Closing her eyes, she exhaled deeply and proceeded to silently find a rhythm all their own.

Trying to relax, he stared up at her momentarily, absorbing the twitchy look of concentration on her face. _This really isn't easy for her..._ Following suit, Takashi closed his own eyes, as it somehow felt like an invasion of privacy to presently look upon her.

In his darkness there was the warm feeling of Haruhi kneeling by his side. Still as could be, he took note of the small hand resting over his heart. In her own time Haruhi had relaxed, her palm having melded to his chest.

So peaceful was their pose, that several minutes had passed before Takashi realized the sound of their breathing had seamlessly blended into one. He wondered what Haruhi could be thinking. Opening his eyes, there she sat, kneeling, looking down upon him. It was the most beautiful vision he'd ever seen. Disappointment filled his body as her hand pulled away.

"My turn."

Moving quickly as though to steel her nerve, Haruhi had relocated to the floor, barely leaving time for him to sit up. Kneeling alongside her, it was ever present in Takashi's mind that regardless of their reversed roles, the first move was in no way his own. Another moment passed before she grabbed him by the hand and placed it over top of her heart.

The difficulty he had processing this sudden advancement had caught Takashi very much off guard. Not quite sure of what to do, he closed his eyes again, drawing on every ounce of strength he possessed to keep his entire body relaxed. Making use of their point in exercise, he silenced himself from the inside out, easily becoming lost in her pulsing heartbeat. It was the rise and fall of her chest that allowed his own breathing to return to normal.

Feeling her laid out beneath him, Haruhi seemed to incredibly small. During the two years he had been away from her, he had relied on photos, letters, and the occasional phone call to draw on Haruhi's image. Friends and acquaintances had been made, but he never even bothered comparing them to her, not even after her letters had dropped off the radar.

Opening his eyes, Takashi looked down to find to her once again staring in his direction.

_Sneaky girl._

Haruhi sat up, a look of accomplishment beaming across her face.

"Thank you for that. It was good."

"No problem."

Without thinking further, Takashi acted on what felt natural for the moment, and leaned in, kissing her. He was only allowed the slightest taste, as horrified, he pulled himself away.

"Haruhi, I am so sor-"

"No."

Feeling ashamed, he prepared to move away from her, when she caught him by the arm.

"I mean no, as in no apologies."

"I was out of line."

Sitting on the floor, the room seemed forever noiseless.

"You were right."

"Hn?"

"That I'm nobody's victim. Certainly not yours. So you don't have to apologize to me."

"Ah."

"Takashi?"

Answering by looking toward her, he caught Haruhi's eyes and nodded for her to speak. It nearly required him to strain his ears to hear what she asked next.

"Would you do it again?"

"Hm?"

"Kiss me?"

Moving right along side him, Haruhi was intent to demonstrate that she had meant what she said. While he had yet to make any sort of move, he responded in kind as she took hold of both his hands. Leaning inward, Takashi glided his own hands up her arms, pulling her forward and into his lap. Remaining gentle as always, he wrapped his arms around her in an effort to soothe the fact that she was now trembling.

Raising her eyes to greet his, Haruhi broke out into a smile that lasted only as long as it took for Takashi's lips to envelop her own.

.

Haruhi rolled over onto her side so as to take in the peaceful scene outside her window. Snow drifted aimlessly toward the ground, the December air arranging an ornate, frosted frame around the edge of the glass. A break in the clouds revealed a ballet of stars dancing behind the snowfall.

It had been a heavensent; retreating to her bed after an especially eventlful day.

_Huddled around her dining room table with Tamaki and Kyoya, and Mitsukuni, Haruhi focused her attention on the laptop in front of her. Thousands of miles away, there sat Hikaru, who was in the middle of describing the situation he referred to simply as, "Kaoru's girlfriend."_

"_Can you imagine?! She's nice and all, but if you let her, the woman just goes on, and on, and on! God forbid you not be interested in whatever droll thing she's into. Otherwise she ends up whining in the corner."_

"_Wow, Hikaru!" Tamaki declared, "I'm not sure why Kaoru would put up with that. She sounds like an absolutely chore..."_

_Crossing his arms, Kyoya gave him a slight look. "Indeed, Hikaru. I can't even begin to imagine how Kaoru does it."_

_As if the conversation weren't already rich enough, it was clear that their insinuations were flying right over Tamaki's head. Unable to suppress it any longer, Haruhi erupted into laughter._

_Takashi, who had given most of his attention to the weather out the window, now looked back in their direction. All the time, they were gaining in number: occasions eliciting Haruhi's laughter. In his opinion, they were worth giving his full attention to._

_Eventually there came a question across the computer screen, as Kaoru joined the group and implored on the nature of their gathering._

"_Hey, Haruhi! You can't leave us in the dark over here! We love sitting around talking to you all, but when are you going to tell us what we're all here for?"_

"_Yeah, Haruhi," his brother reiterated, "School is almost done, and we'll be home next week. It must be pretty important if it can't wait for a little while."_

_Nodding, she grabbed a piece of paper off the desk and stood up, still mentally preparing for all she had to say._

"_Actually there is a reason I have all of you here today."_

_The solemnity behind her voice was audible, causing the rest of the room to fall silent. She took a seat next to Takashi while unfolding the paper, holding it up for everyone to see._

_"This is a form letter from Ichihaba Prison, notifying me of a certain prisoner's upcoming release. I received it, because last year this person, a former student at Ouran Academy, assaulted me."_

_There became an immediate distinction within the room between those who had known Haruhi's secret, and those who had been left in the dark. As everyone remained silent, Haruhi waited for the someone's—anyone's—reaction._

_Having told her father earlier in the afternoon, she imagined it could not have been any worse than the heartbreaking lecture he delivered about having not been given the opportunity to emotionally support his one and only daughter._

_"I'm sorry for keeping this from some of you. To make a very long story short: something awful happened, but it doesn't control me. It's been hard, yeah, but I'm doing much better. Not every day is a good day, but I guess that's just life. Please don't worry about me."_

_Suppressing the tears in his eyes, Tamaki made his way toward Haruhi, who opened her arms to receive the hug she knew would pain him not to give._

_"I'm so sorry, Haruhi!" he whispered, "Why didn't you tell me?!"_

_"I don't know. I just needed to do things my own way. But it wasn't my intention to be keeping things from you. Believe it or not, you simply always being there was incredibly helpful to me. And really, with your upbeat attitude and occasional aloofness, you provided a great sense of normalcy!"_

_At this, he was able to sputter a half-hearted laugh for her._

_Across the computer screen, the twins seemed to be in a somewhat angered daze, although it was not directed toward their friend._

_"Geez, Haruhi." Hikaru sighed, "We can't even hug you right now."_

_"Mm, that's okay, guys. I'll see you when you get home."_

_"You bet you will!"_

_Using the best of the laptop's ability to look around the room, Hikaru's eyes landed on Takashi, and then proceeded in a classic, prying-Hitachiin tone._

_"Since you've got all of us here... Is there anything else anyone would like to share with the group?"_

_Shrugging her shoulders, Haruhi gave him a very simple, direct, "Nope."_

_"Haruhiii... Are you sure?"_

_"Yeah. I'm sure."_

_While it was appreciated that the twins were doing what they could to be supportive, thus attempting to keep the mood light, Kyoya was felt that perhaps questions surrounding Haruhi's personal life did not need to be pushed any further. Standing up, Kyoya easily garnered their attention._

_"Actually, Hikaru and Kaoru, there is one thing I'd like to say."_

_With all eyes having turned on him, he paused while offering a signiture smirk._

_"Well go on, Kyoya."_

_"Very well, then. Tamaki is gay."_

_Closing the laptop, it was abundantly clear that he was very amused. Throwing his coat around his shoulders, Kyoya gave Haruhi's shoulder a firm squeeze before heading out the door._

Feeling rather exultant at how the afternoon had capped off some of the major accomplishments of the past few months, Haruhi shut her eyes, and retired the day.

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Almost there! If you've got the time, I'm really interested to know what you thought of this chapter. I mulled it over a good deal before finally settling on how I wanted it to be. I hope you're still enjoying this; thanks so much for reading! :D


	6. Chapter 6

Stalking away after a half-hearted bow, it wasn't long before the plastered on smile had been replaced by a scowl. Another job he would not get, last name be damned. His disenchantment was evident with the slam of the shop door as he made his way back into the mesh of pedestrians. The further he walked along, the angrier he became with the crowd.

_Do none of these fools know who I am?_

Blending unwillingly within the myriad of faces, the reality of the situation was more dire than he was willing to admit. There would be no inheritance. The paltry sum donated during the final meeting with his father would not last forever.

Upon his early release from prison—due in part to his compliance; due much more to his family's influence—he'd been welcomed home as a martyr; falsely imprisoned for the claims of some jealous college girl.

It wasn't until the second accusation had been made months later that he'd lost his claim as heir. The decision had been more political than personal. It only made sense that notions of such atrocities could not sit at the helm of the family company.

Within time there would be a third accusation, at which point his life took a drastic flip in the opposite direction that he had intended. No longer willing to humor his son's private inclinations toward women, his father had severed him from the family completely. There was no room for the pithy, filth-laden situations his son could not help but land himself in. His shame laid in not knowing how many times the young man had gotten away with his misdeeds.

Now, moving along with the current of walkers, he searched around, considering what other prospects for employment laid before him. Glancing toward the right, his body came to a near halt at the sight in front of him.

There was no mistaking her identity. Incredibly small, although interestingly, no longer slight of frame, dark hair cloaking her shoulders. A smart girl. The sort who spoke out of turn during lectures, contradicting and correcting upperclassmen in front of everybody. Indeed, exiting a small bookshop was the girl whose audacity had gotten him incarcerated in the first place. The sight of her infuriated him. After the state he had left her in, she had absolutely no reason to be walking with such confidence. To be wearing that upturned grin in place of paranoia and disdain.

There she was, directly across the street from him. Slowing down to match her pace, he decided the job hunt could wait. Making her way toward an outdoor cafe, he hurried across the street, lest he miss the opportunity to get the girl alone.

Unable to obtain his goal, he watched with animosity, not only as his desperation caused a scene, but as the young woman in question achieved her destination. Clasping hands with a rather tall man, the two of them turned around upon hearing the mortifying commotion.

Staring up at her from the ground, the two of them locked eyes for only the shortest of moments. Long enough for the young woman to acknowledge him, scraped and fallen on the bustling sidewalk, and to grant him the slightest of recognition. Her expression remained unchanged and indifferent to him before she turned around to walk away.

As they started off, the man alongside her looked behind while placing one hand on her hip. The fire and recognition in his eyes was in no way complacent, and in fact seemed frighteningly unearthly. Tilting her head upward, her words seemed to be the one thing that kept him looking forward as they left the stranger behind, seething and nameless in the crowd.

.

She stood nervously at the front of the house, the contrast between its white siding and shadowplay looming before her. Only half convinced that she wanted someone to open the door, she began to think of several reasons not to make this visit. Fidgeting with her hands, the girl began to turn around as the entryway cracked open.

"Hello, Masumi."

"Morinozuka-Sama!"

Amused at the amount of surprise on the teen's face, he stepped aside and motioned her to come in. "Yuto-Chan is at kendo practice right now, but you're always welcome inside."

Takashi paid closer attention as he noticed an unusually perplexed expression across the girl's face. A childhood friend who had grown up with his son, she was typically a cheerful girl who brought conversation and lightness whenever she was around. Ushering her inside, he made note as she hurried forward from his open-armed invitation.

Embarrassed by her actions, Masumi offered an appreciative bow.

"Thank you, Morinozuka-Sama." She looked up at the older man. Save for a subtle streak of silver and an additional thirty or so years, there was no mistaking where Yuto's makeup had originated from. "I was hoping I could spend some time in your library, today."

Giving the girl a nod, he left it at, "You know the way."  
Takashi watched as Masumi smiled and trailed off down the familiar hallway.

_She's been visiting here for nearly ten years, and still won't drop this Sama business. Hn. At least she's respectful._

Quietly following along, Takashi stood outside of the family room that had eventually been dubbed the library. It was a fair enough assessment. Creating a spacious study and work environment proved an effective way of keeping their always busy lives family-centric. The room housed several couches and chairs, and desks. Lined wall-to-wall with shelves, there were easily several thousand books living in the room. Walls and shelf space were occasionally punctuated by mementos, family photos, and the occasional picture showcasing the professional or social endeavors of their family.

Before long, Masumi had picked out a handful of books, then came to settle in front a display of photographs. She scanned past pictures of the family matriarch alongside business partners, and the occasional charitable event. Over the years, she had become a well-known friend to Japan's family crisis circuit.

It wasn't long before Takashi noted that the girl's focus laid on a particular snapshot of his wife. Taken on the morning of their wedding, there stood Haruhi, a petite vision of white surrounded by five tuxedoed men as they playfully kept Takashi at bay. Their smiles bore a sense of intimate pride, which seemed peculiar to Masumi, as after all, it was not_ their _wedding day. She cocked her head to the side, examining the picture further.

For the first time since watching the girl, Takashi took note of her book selections. Cradled in her arm was the Russian classic, Lolita, as well as several titles by Natsuo Kirino. Remaining silent, Takashi took his leave and went in search of Haruhi. Certain that she would be as busy and as perceptive as ever, he knew she could probably use a break, and would likely be appreciative of the library's quality of air.

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All done! Sorry for the wait; things have been busy lately, and I didn't want to rush it. I hope you liked it! I'm overall satisfied, and would definitely love to know what you think!

Note: Natsuo Kirino is a contemporary Japanese author who is known for not shying away from writing about incredibly raw and sensitive topics like rape and child abuse. Some of her books like Out and Grotesque have been translated into English, and one of her novels was even made into a movie in Japan.


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